16.10.07

Ophelia, cemeteries & suicide


A friend of mine killed herself a few weeks ago. I knew her for about 20 years. We met at the Art Gallery of Ontario where she organized special events and functions. I was a waitress in the member's lounge.


The day I found out she'd killed herself, I saw this graffiti in Philosopher's Walk near the Royal Ontario Museum. I wondered how many people would share this sentiment.



She would visit the member's lounge for a glass of wine after she finished work on Wednesdays--the one day of the week that the gallery stayed open late. We liked each other, but we didn't socialize.

We were both very good pals of a talented, yet troubled, artist friend who killed himself in May 2005. I also met him during the two years or so when I worked at the gallery. He was a waiter in the restaurant and a gifted jeweller and artist.

The two spent a lot of time together. She was an excellent friend to him.

She was laid off after 25 years or so of working at the gallery. He killed himself on her last day on the job.

He was quite ill physically and was suffering from depression. He was an alcoholic and abused drugs. He threw himself on the subway tracks at the Queen Street station after checking himself out of St. Michael's Hospital.

The last time I saw him he was so high that he could barely speak. We went to see the film "Ray" at the Bloor Cinema and he passed out and slept through the entire movie. He phoned me at about 1:30 a.m. to apologize.

We tried to meet again a couple of times, but he never showed up.

He had tried previously to kill himself. I had intervened and taken him to the hospital on one occasion. I had also helped get him out of jail when he got into a mess while holidaying in St. Eustatius once.

After he killed himself, she and I got together from time to time.

I hadn’t heard from her for quite a while, but I sent an email to her husband about a week before she hung herself on her back deck.

Apparently, she left no note, but had been suffering from insomnia and anxiety.

The memorial was held while I was away in England.

While I was in London I saw an exhibition of the work of John Everett Millais at the Tate Britain. His romanticized image of Ophelia after she killed herself is shown below.


These are not the first friends I've known who have killed themselves.

A long time ago, when I lived in Ottawa and was in Grade 8, a friend killed himself while sniffing glue.

CEMETERY OUTSIDE ALL SAINTS CHURCH

This church in Maidstone was built in 1395, but the site has had a church on it since 650. I am not sure of the age of these tombstones in the pictures because the dates are worn off.





Construction on St. Mary's Church in Chiddingstone began in the 13th Century.





CEMETERY NEAR ORANGEVILLE

I went to this cemetery in May of this year. It is outside a village near Orangeville, Ont.